I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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