How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
