Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Operation Purity has been aborted
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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