my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
