I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
