can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
