The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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