you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
