You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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