Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
