the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
