I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
whose ass print is on the piano?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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