i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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