found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
