once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
