Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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