At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
