Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize