NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
