I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
