wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
