I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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