She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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