you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
