Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize