This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
