I didn't shave. On purpose
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize