Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
