Don't make out with my wife yet
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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