do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Randomize