we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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