If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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