I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
