We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize