Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
