A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize