Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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