either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize