My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
