Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
