and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
