i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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