i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
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You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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