i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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