I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
