What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
