if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
