This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize