belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
there is puke in my bra ... again
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize