This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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