at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
