Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
