Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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