I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
