Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize