he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize