I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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