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i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
