He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Acid is not a monday night drug
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.