why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.