No stitches, just platelets and will power
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
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he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
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I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life