i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
