So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Alive.
So much puke
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize