i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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