I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Randomize
