Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
