I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
